Bossy's Last Day

It's very difficult for me to write this post, but I'll try.

We knew Bossy's time was coming, and I was really hoping she would die peacefully in her sleep.  But about a week ago, she started peeing outside the litter box.  Then, when Chuck said "there's pee on the carpet", I knew what he was really saying - it was over for her.

So yesterday morning I called the vet and told them Bossy needed to be put down.  They said they were booked all day, so they set her up for this morning at 8:30.  I didn't want to wait that long. I just wanted to get it over with.  I knew if I had to wait that long, I it would be LOOOONG hard day and a LOOOOONG hard night.  But there was nothing I could do about that.

A couple hours later, the vet called and said they could get her in at 4:00.  It still seemed like a long time to anticipate it, but I was grateful cuz it was way better than waiting until morning.

I spent the whole afternoon watching the clock and feeling my stomach getting all twisted up with anxiety, along with the occasional emotional breakdowns.  It was a SLOW afternoon.

But something happened to break up the dark clouds of dread, even if just a little bit.

A bird accidentally flew into my house.   It panicked and didn't know where to go, but it found a place up on the high window ledge in my living room.  Bossy was watching it very closely.

It sat up there for awhile, and then took off and flew to another high ledge in my foyer.

Don't know if you can see it in this picture, but it paced back and forth up there for a long time, probably a couple hours or more.  I tried to coax it with a broom, but it was too high for me to reach.

Bossy was watching it very closely.

I opened the door underneath it, hoping it would fly out, but the poor frantic bird couldn't see the open door from where he was, he just kept pacing back and forth and fluttering his wings.

After a while it finally flew into the living room and landed on the TV stand, and then hopped onto the floor.  I have no idea why it did this.

Bossy chased it and it flew up to another high ledge in my living room.

Then it tried to fly some more, probably to look for another way out, but it somehow got trapped behind my window blinds, and Bossy caught it.

I shook her and tried to make her let go of it, but she growled at me and wasn't gonna give it up.

I took her outside and tried to get her to drop it, but then I saw that she started tearing it up and gnawing on it.

The bird was done for, and Bossy ate a bird for her last meal.

I have never known her to eat a bird before, but just like the mice she was eating recently, I think she was starving from not eating her regular food.

Then she sat by the door waiting for me to let her back into the house.

This is all that's left of that poor bird.

I'm glad I don't have to wait for that thing to end up on my ironing board encased in a poop shell!

So the afternoon clock finally read 3:45, and it was "time".  I stuffed Bossy into the carrier and took her to the vet.  She cried the whole way, but her cries were drowned out by own grief.

As they said, they were really busy yesterday, so even though her appointment was at 4:00, we sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes - more intense agony, but thankfully I wasn't all alone.  PW and her boyfriend Paul were there with me.

Finally, we got called in, and they weighed her at 5 pounds.  Two pounds less than her last visit.  She was wasting away from her hypothyroidism, and the vet said her kidneys were deteriorating which is why she quit using her litterbox.

The vet prepared her shot, and asked me to "give her a hug".  I held her close, he gave her the shot, and seconds later, I felt her go limp in my arms.

It was the hardest moment I have ever lived through.

I miss her so much.

RIP Bossy